By now, most Kenyans are familiar with stories of Tinder and Twitter scammers who have left numerous Kenyan women nursing heartaches and financial losses after falling victim to sophisticated love scams.
This question deserves serious reconsideration, as several women on social media dating sites continue to complain about losing their hard-earned money to fraudsters posing as love interests.
Beyond Tinder and Twitter, many women have raised concerns about similar incidents on various Facebook dating platforms.
In one such case, several women took to Facebook groups to share their experiences with a man on a spree of deception. One victim, Mercy Ifedha, recounted her ordeal with a man who approached her in a dating group, presenting himself as a Kenya Defence Forces (KDF) officer. He showed her his job card, military cap, and photos as proof of
his identity. Convinced by his façade, she fell for his deceit, only to later regret it when he disappeared with her expensive phone and other valuables.
Later, Mercy saw the same man's picture circulating on social media, with other women warning about his scams.
“I learnt that several women had complained about the same man at Matopeni police station, where I had gone to report the case,” Mercy told The Nairobian, adding, “of interest is the inactive nature of the police, who dismiss women, saying it’s their own fault.”
In another Facebook dating group called Singles Searching 40-80, a woman raised concerns about men who express interest and then start claiming financial distress, asking for assistance. They often promise to repay the borrowed money. One woman, Diana Muthoni, shared her story of how a man expressed interest after she posted seeking a partner. They began chatting, but the next day, Diana noticed that the man had a profile picture of a woman. When she asked about it, he brushed it off, claiming the woman was his late wife, who had died in childbirth.
Emergency Requests
A few minutes later, the man messaged Diana, claiming to have an emergency and requesting KSh 500. She told him she didn’t have the money. He then asked for KSh 200, which she also refused, saying she was broke. Shortly after, she realized he had blocked her on social media.
The post sparked a barrage of reactions from other social media users, many of whom confessed they too had been swindled by men pretending to offer love but who only sought financial gain.
Esther Mutheu, a resident of Ongata Rongai, met a man on social media after her husband’s death. He appeared to be well-off, working at a reputable firm, and showered her with gifts, money, and exotic holidays. He even promised to marry her, something she longed for. Feeling hopeful, she was ready to do anything to have a family again.
“I had asked God to give me the right man, and when he came along, I thought he was the one, so I was ready for him as my husband,” Esther told The Nairobian, adding, “I was later devastated to learn that the man had a family, a wife, and children.”
Unfortunately, this revelation came too late for Esther, a teacher. By that time, the man had already impregnated her and convinced her to sell her school to help him complete his house project.
“Since I already saw him as my husband, I agreed to sell my academy for KSh 100,000 and gave him the money,” she said.
Once the house was completed, the man’s wife and children moved in. When Esther’s calls to him went unanswered, she visited his house, only to find another woman and children living there. She pretended to be looking for a rental property and didn’t reveal who she was.
“After that encounter, I realized I had been duped. My academy was gone, I had no job, and no husband. This life is crazy,” she lamented.
Scammers Abound
Jane Adongo also lost money to a scammer. After knowing each other for only two days, her new “boyfriend” messaged her, claiming he was about to die of hunger and needed KSh 200. Sympathetic, Jane sent him the money. The next day, he asked for KSh 500, but when she told him she didn’t have the money, he blocked her on Facebook.
These are not isolated cases. In February 2021, a 32-year-old man, Paul Kihika Wangari, made headlines after selling a car worth KSh 5.7 million that his girlfriend, Hellen Akinyi Omit, had bought him. Kihika confessed to selling the car because Akinyi had refused to give him money for personal issues. Akinyi reported him to the police, and he was arrested and charged with stealing the car.
Expert Analysis
Criminologist Vincent Obwocha, a trainer with the Association of Fraud Examiners Kenya, says that men are increasingly preying on desperate, wealthy women on social media by posing as potential lovers.
According to him, these fraudsters target their victims through dating sites, analyzing their profiles to gauge their financial status. Once they initiate contact, the scammer moves the conversation offline, usually to phone calls or WhatsApp, where they begin the process of extracting money.
“Although most victims are women, men occasionally fall prey to these schemes as well,” Obwocha explained, noting that the fraudsters often seek to build trust quickly before asking for financial help.
In February 2021, an Eldoret court warned widows to steer clear of a man named Vincent Kiriago Mogambi, who had defrauded several widows. The ruling came after a widow, Elizabeth Kaviva, sued Mogambi for fraud. She testified that after her husband’s death in 1997, she met Mogambi, who showered her with love. He persuaded her to borrow money and use her savings to buy land, only to later register the property in his name without her knowledge.
Justice Boaz Olao, who presided over the case, issued a warning to women about men who take advantage of widows. “The message this court wishes to send to widows in Eldoret is this: Don’t touch VKM with a ten-foot pole. Avoid him at all costs,” the judge said.
The Need for Caution
Renowned relationship coach Allan Lawrence explains that women often trade everything for love, which can make them vulnerable to deceit.
“Women love the idea of love, while men are project-oriented. Men will sell women the idea of love for selfish gains,” Lawrence says, advising women to avoid playing a motherly role in relationships.
“Never try to rehabilitate someone for a relationship—it will cost you dearly,” he warns. “People can meet online, but commitment and true love must develop offline.”
He adds that serious men should never ask for financial assistance before committing, and if they do, it should be considered a red flag.
Lawrence, however, doesn’t blame women for falling victim to online love scams. “We can’t really blame them for falling in love with the wrong men. The men engaging in such vices don’t want to work hard but have a great appetite for a luxurious lifestyle.”