Mombasa raha: How Coast women keep Luo, Luhya, Kisii men in captivity

In Mombasa, stories are told of men from up-country who for decades have never set foot back in their ancestral home after falling in love with Coastal women.

The men sold their ancestral land and settled in Mombasa with their Digo wives, whom they pamper with money.

Amidst all the lure for love is a deeply entrenched voodoo culture that keeps the men trapped, according to one Digo woman on social media.

Men from Luo, Kisii and Luhya communities have been mentioned as the main victims of the phrase ‘Mombasa Raha, kuingia harusi kutoka matanga’.

Most of the men have married women from the Mijikenda community, and the only time they go back to their ancestral home is in a coffin.

According to Japhet Omwoyo, a resident of Likoni who is married to a Taita woman, most up-country men find themselves entrapped by Coastal women and end up investing all their earnings and savings on them and their in-laws, only to be abandoned in old age.

Omwoyo says most of the up-country men prefer to marry Digo and Taita women for their beauty.

“It is said the Digo women are taught how to treat their husbands with humility, know how to cook and are good in bed,” says Omwoyo.

He says some men have stayed at the Coast for over 20 years without going back to up-country, where they abandoned their wives and children.

“We have a brother who says that every time he plans a trip home, it aborts when he reaches Mariakani. He has never gone past Mariakani,” says Omwoyo.

In a recent TikTok video, a Digo woman warns Luo men against investing heavily in their in-laws while disregarding their own families back home.

The woman says that most men who were once swimming in money and working in lucrative firms like the Kenya Ports Authority (KPA) and the Kenya Revenue Authority (KRA) are now living a pauper’s life after being thrown out by their wives and in-laws when the money dried up.

She says, despite Digo women being regarded as polite, patient, submissive and caring wives, it is the money that speaks.

She says some men have gone to the extent of selling their ancestral land just to pamper their coastal women and in-laws.

Witchcraft

“Up-country men, especially Luos, when you arrive in Mombasa, you want to experience all the pleasures you heard that Digo women can provide. I want to talk to you, Luo men. When you come to Mombasa and cross the ferry and go searching for a Digo woman, when we see you have money, we will do anything to please and pleasure you,” she says.

“If we see you have cash, we will remove your shoes, welcome you in, cook and wash you, and even carry you on our backs,” she continues.

She admits that witchcraft plays a role in keeping the men trapped.

“We collaborate with our fathers and mothers to put paraphernalia on the men. Whenever you try to act tough, we sit with our mothers and discuss what to do. You lose your job, become insane and go back up-country without money,” says.

She also faults the men who build matrimonial homes on the fathers-in-law's land and build rentals for their wives.

“Now there are these confused fellas. I wonder where they were brought up. You marry a Coastal woman and then you proceed to build her a maisonette on a land she was given by her father.”

She says most men love the way they are pampered and treated like kings by their wives and in-laws.

“Women from up-country learn to pamper, serve and treat their husbands politely and with respect. They come over here and get stuck here forever and only return in coffins just because they love the way we treat them,” she says.

According to her, the up-country women do not know how to apologise to their husbands when they wrong them.

The Digo men are also trained to treat their women like princesses.

According to Binti Munyeze, an elderly Digo woman, there are many Luo men who have been abandoned by their Coastal wives after retirement.

Munyeze says that even those who invested heavily in real estate in Likoni are also mistreated in old age as the wives, children, and in-laws enjoy the proceeds of the property.

“In the end, even your own children look down on you because you abandoned your ancestral land and accepted land from the father-in-law and built there and after the money depleted or you retired from KPA or KRA, you are forced to go back to Kisumu and live under the deplorable conditions or you are taken back in a coffin to Kisii, Kisumu or Luhya land,” says Munyeze.