Lost in the crowd: Teens' battle with identity crisis

Imagine a chameleon standing on a rainbow. With every step, it changes colour, trying to match its surroundings. But the more it tries, the more confused it gets. Is it red, blue, or green? This is the dilemma many Kenyan teenagers face today—shifting identities in a bid to belong.

In Kenyan society’s vibrant yet complex fabric, teenagers are caught between worlds. On one side is a culture rich with tradition and family expectations; on the other is a modern, fast-paced world dominated by social media trends and global ideals. Somewhere in between is a young person asking, “Who am I?”

Psychologist Erik Erikson described adolescence as a stage of “identity vs. role confusion.” It’s a time when young people wrestle with questions about their values, purpose, and self-worth. In Kenya, this struggle is amplified by unique societal pressures.

Take a 16-year-old girl in Nairobi, for example. At home, her parents remind her to maintain cultural values—dress modestly, respect elders, and pursue a ‘practical’ career, such as medicine or law. At school, her peers tease her for not being ‘cool’ enough because she doesn’t follow the latest TikTok trends or wear designer trainers. Online, influencers push ideals of beauty and success that feel impossibly out of reach. Wanjiku feels like a chameleon, constantly changing to fit into spaces where she never feels truly accepted.

This tug-of-war between cultural expectations and global influences is a defining aspect of the identity crisis for many Kenyan teenagers. Urban teens grapple with balancing tradition and modernity, while those in rural areas feel left behind in a digital age they can barely access.

Kenyan literature reflects this struggle beautifully. In The River and the Source by Margaret Ogola, the characters face generational shifts and identity struggles. Akoko, a strong matriarch, embodies the steadfastness of tradition, while her descendants navigate a changing world that tests their sense of self. Similarly, today’s teenagers are like Akoko’s great-grandchildren, trying to honour their roots while forging their own paths.

Many songs address the pressures of modern life and the internal battles of staying authentic in a world that rewards conformity. Teenagers listening to such music may feel a glimmer of hope—someone out there understands their pain.

Social media is the most significant force shaping teenage identities today. It creates a filtered world where perfection is the norm. A 15-year-old boy in Kisumu might see influencers flaunting lavish lifestyles and wonder why his life feels so ordinary. A girl in Mombasa might compare herself to photoshopped beauty standards and question her self-worth.

What these teens don’t see is the reality behind the filters. The curated images often hide struggles, insecurities, and failures. Yet, many teenagers internalise these unrealistic portrayals, leading to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and depression.

The good news is that every teenager has the potential to overcome this crisis and find their true self. Like a tree bending in the wind, they may sway under pressure but can grow stronger with the right support. Teens need to understand that their worth isn’t determined by others’ opinions. Activities such as journaling can help them reflect on their values, passions, and strengths.

By celebrating individuality and teaching resilience, adults can help teens resist the urge to conform to harmful trends. Teaching teenagers to critically analyse social media can protect them from falling into the trap of comparison. When they learn that influencers are often selling a dream, they can focus on their own goals and realities.

Like a rainbow, every teenager has their unique spectrum of colours—some bold, others soft, but all beautiful.

So, to the Kenyan teenager wondering who they are: You are not a chameleon lost in the colours of the world. You are a star, shining in your own way, adding your light to the Kenyan sky.

Mr Ojwang is a teacher at St George’s Girls High School, Nairobi.