Why we struggle to understand women's moods

Certain things have remained cast on stone and no amount of research can change them. Despite so much research going in to the green approach with so much knowledge emerging on biodegradable material, foresters are yet to make the shift towards full adoption of these recommendation.

Nurseries still churn out seedings packaged in polyethene tubes that must be torn away to ensure that roots gain room to spread out and eat the naked soil.

Maybe this is because nakedness is the source of life. Life starts with eating, and it is universally agreed that everything edible has to stripped bare to access the full taste especially from the bottom. Talk of wrappers for sweets and candies, talk of banana peels, literally everything is eaten without clothes. It is how life is birthed.

Linguistics, just like other spheres of academia has injected quite some work in understanding communication better over the years. Each year graduates of master's degrees and PhD students present beautiful thesis contributing various insights into the various aspects of communication and how to improve it.

Progress has been made and communication, especially in the official domain has become not only timelier but also more accurate and well dressed in content and appearance. Public relations is now a full-fledged area of study offering employment for communication experts in their growing numbers.

But the more things change, the more the natural vein of it remains the unadulterated. They say you cannot fear being naked if you intend to give birth, that’s a primal instinct right from copulation to the delivery room. In all stages when life is being manufactured, no amount of scholarly knowledge is given thought. Mama mbogas wail the same way professors wail in the delivery room. It is a place of no decency and no class. No decorum.

I should just honestly call it chaotic, because I have been there and I am a communication expert. Sobriety only resumes after the newborn is separated from the mother and orderliness is sought and restores until the baby fever strikes again.

I hear moaning is also an indecent primal reaction enshrined in natural mess of liquids and unpleasant faces that no one wants to talk about or remember afterwards. Unlike the delivery rooms where nurses serve company, in this other situation there can never be anyone to report the happenings. Walls and curtains say that it gets messy and incoherently loud. Communication gets very disorderly, and it is never clear who is talking and who is listening until the eventual heavenly quietness prevails.

The most difficult person to understand is the woman. We have cycles that swing like a pendulum. Sometimes, we are the sweetest and warmest creatures yet other times we are hostile and repulsive to the very people we love. While these stages of our cycles may be well defined and even marked in calendar, we have never quite learnt to put together words that can communicate the moments.

Men sometimes have no idea whether Memsahib is wrapped in pads until they extend their itchy hands or move too close to the wrappers. They also never get any memos on when ovulating is expected to roll in. A communications director at a blue-chip company hosting Webinars on modern ways to communicate forgets profession when she gets home. Home is the space where the least communication happens, especially from a spousal standpoint.

Some days our men are upbeat and cut short their meetings with the boys to build the mood in time only to be met by the cold wall of Jericho that is insurmountable. They regret but cannot go back to the club to join the boys. They sit down at the corner and scroll the remote for a replay of the UCL match played in 1999 when United still had the mojo. Nothing is said expressly but the gloomy reception and the way we shrug our shoulders is real time communiqué that Iraq has declared war against the superpower once more. The songs being hummed in the kitchen are clear message for the enemy to retreat of face the consequences.

Nonverbal primal communication is something that the men will perhaps have to live with for the rest of time. Some women, borrowing from the old times have broken the barriers though. They have intentionally verbalized their mood and trained their men on how to interpret the signs. They use beads to communicate.

Apparently, red beads denote red days, white define peace of mind and the neutrality that they are open to being approached. Black is for the days when they are in a somber state for whatever reason. It could be the load of work at the office desk or she could be observing the weeklong anniversary of her mother’s friend that passed on while she was in nursery school.

Yellow signifies a state of excitement and is a free pass for the man to return home early and grope his mare anyhow without facing rejection. Still, the man even after being coached is left with the task of having to find moments to read the waist beads either early morning after the woman showers or after work.

Sexologists however encourage women to be more verbal in expressing their moods and stating their desires to the men. What thrills us and what does not. We should state where and how we want to be touched and also open up the dark box of fantasies in the closet. You see, we are the hardest pass word to hack even for top algorithm experts hacking firewalls of elite banks in the world from Nigeria’s Silicon Valley. They understand Java and other computer languages but cannot work with certainty when it comes to the woman. Over to you communication experts.