In Kenya, the chief is many things: a government officer, a conflict resolver, a security enforcer, and occasionally, a part-time mystery. At the local level, chiefs are the face of authority. But take sufficient time in different locations, and you’ll quickly notice they don’t come in one standard model. No, Kenyan chiefs are a full catalog of personalities: some admirable, some questionable, and others that deserve their own reality show. Here are ten types of chiefs you have likely come a cross in Kenya.
The Graft-Ridden Chief
Ah yes, the “facilitation fee” enthusiast. This chief operates on an unofficial motto: Why do it for free when it can be monetized? Need a letter for ID application? My friend you have to part with something small. Want a dispute settled? “We can talk.” The highest bidder wins the dispute. By the time you’re done, you’re not sure whether you visited a government office or a private consultancy firm.
The Drunkard
This one operates on… “liquid motivation.” You might find him unusually cheerful at odd hours, repeating the same story twice; or thrice; for emphasis. He might not start solving your dispute without first of all kutoa lock. Baraza meetings can turn into storytelling sessions, and serious matters occasionally compete with the lingering scent of last night’s decisions. Timing is everything: catch him early, you might get efficiency; catch him late… well, you might get philosophy from him and endless talks.
The Absentee Chief
This one is harder in his office to find than a matatu with a working seatbelt. Trying to get him at his office is a tall order. The office is always locked, the phone is always off, and the assistant chief has mastered the phrase, “Ako kwa meeting”, the meeting of which nobody knows its purpose. Legend has it that if you spot this chief twice in one week, you are either very lucky, or hallucinating.
The Clueless
He is not privy to the prevailing laws and most of his ideologies, presumptions and rulings are outside the context of law. You walk in with a simple issue and walk out with a solution that raises more questions than answers.
Multi-tasker
He is an administrator, village elder, farmer, this chief is a jerk of all trades. You go to his home for an important signature and he gives you assignments at his farm, help him to plant those seeds before he appends his signature to your document. If there is an issue requiring a village elder, he is more than ready to avail himself.
The Saintly
She is a rare specifies, a regular church goer (genuinely saved), and you almost don’t believe she real. Honest, approachable, fair, and actually helpful. No shortcuts, no drama, no “something small.” Just pure service and that is all. Wananchi speak of this chief in glowing terms, like a folklore hero: “Huyo ni mtu mzuri sana.” She is contented with her salary.
The Iron-Fist Chief
This one runs his location like a military camp. Curfews are respected. Noise complaints are handled with speed. And if you thought you could bend the rules, think again. Order is maintained; guys are regularly flushed out of bars at odd hours; but sometimes you wonder if you accidentally crossed into a different country with stricter laws.
The Politically-Aligned
Election season is where this chief truly shines; or rather, reveals himself. Suddenly, neutrality takes a backseat, and subtle (or not-so-subtle) favoritism creeps in. If you support the “wrong” side, don’t be surprised if your issues move at the speed of a snail on leave.
The Development-Oriented Chief
Now this one deserves a standing ovation. You will find her always organizing barazas, mobilizing the youth, pushing for projects, and supervising existing ones keenly. Roads get fixed, initiatives get launched, and somehow, things actually move. You almost suspect she harbors extra hours in her day.
The Bureaucratic Chief
If paperwork were a sport, this chief would be an Olympic champion. For him, everything requires a form, a signature, a stamp, and possibly another form to confirm the first form. By the time you’re done, you’ve developed a new respect for patience; and a mild fear of files and official signs.
