I discovered my boyfriend was an armed robber, rapist

As the population in informal settlements continues to swell, the rate and scale of improvements have failed to match unrelenting densification and consolidation.  

The allure of quick money, affirmation from society as well as protection from sexual molestation are leading girls barely out of their teens in some of Nairobi’s most deprived areas into a life of crime, and death.

While some deliberately join criminal groups for security, others find themselves trapped with gang members, unable to break free.

Interviews with women living in slums reveal that many girls are drawn into the world of drugs and guns after being unknowingly lured in by boyfriends who wouldn’t let them leave peacefully.

Marion Malaba, 27, grew up in a challenging environment as one of nine children raised by a single mother. Faced with a tough economy, her family struggled to make ends meet. Each sibling was encouraged to carve out their path to success, pushing Marion to work hard and seek opportunities that could change their circumstances.

She dropped out of school in Form Four at only 17 years old after her mother failed to raise school fees.

“I felt like I was moving from a place of poverty into an even darker abyss, and I knew there was more in store for me,” she narrates.

Marion grew up in Dandora, one of Nairobi’s poorest and most dangerous neighbourhoods.

Locals describe it as an incredibly tough place to grow up in, a challenging environment to survive, let alone thrive, particularly for young women.

When she dropped out of school at 17, Marion became pregnant after being sexually abused by people she thought were her friends.

“One of my girlfriends invited me to a party in a club in town. I was naïve and desperate to change my life. I met a man who promised me everything I needed in life, and under the influence of my friends, I ended up at his house,” she recalls.

Deeply intoxicated, Marion found herself in the man’s house. Her friends had left with another man, leaving her vulnerable. She described the traumatic event: “When we arrived,  I found his five friends in the house. Suddenly, he became violent, and they all attacked me, undressed me and took my innocence for over four hours.”

The ordeal took place near her home, but due to the threats she received, she couldn’t call for help for fear of repercussions.

The next morning, Marion managed to escape, leaving her with painful wounds. “They all passed out, and that’s how I was able to escape from the clutches of those wolves,” she said.

Not stopping there, Marion explained that the man managed to track her down and started threatening her. Out of fear, she kept the ordeal to herself. “It was one of the most painful experiences that I couldn’t talk about until I realised I was pregnant and couldn’t explain to my mother how it happened.”

When her mother couldn’t accept her excuses anymore, Marion was forced to open up, but by then, the damage was already done.

“Heartbroken, she accommodated me until I gave birth, but due to the threats from the gang, I relocated. Slowly, I began to heal, and that’s when I started a second-hand clothes (mtumba) business in town.”

Marion’s business thrived, and it was during this time that she met a man who was a regular customer. “He used to pass by often and buy t-shirts. He’d visit two or three times a week. Eventually, he told me his intentions, and I decided to give him a chance.”

Marion shared her previous ordeal with him with expectations of getting empathy but it was short-lived. He treated her well for some months before things got out of hand after she learnt that he was an armed robber. “He first pretended to be concerned about my daughter until I gained his full trust, sometimes, he could come and take my daughter for shopping.”

He could come and forcibly take Marion out without bothering about how the baby would spend the night. The threat of violence loomed over her daughter’s neck.

The situation escalated when she was asked to join him for a night out. “Reflecting the death threats against my daughter, I reluctantly went out with him, In the morning, while making his bed, I stumbled upon guns and knives neatly tucked under the mattress. Just as I was about to put them back, he appeared in the doorway, staring at me. The next thing he did was threaten me, warning me not to say a word.”

Marion lived in constant fear, not just for herself but for her daughter as well. Her armed boyfriend would occasionally forcefully take her child and disappear.

The worst happened when she was tricked for the second time which resulted in sexual violence, despite the threats, the boyfriend planned and executed what Marion described as horror. “He and his friends gang-raped me the whole night and come morning, all he could do was to give me Sh500 and ordered me to keep my mouth shut.”

Bitter and confused, Marion went home and locked herself inside for some days before she sought medical attention. She was expecting her second child.

Struggling with the reality of being a mother who couldn’t explain the whereabouts of her children’s father, she battled depression in silence. It wasn’t until she confided in a friend that things began to change. Her friend advised her to see a counsellor, and that support opened the door to healing.

Looking around, Marion saw young women just like her were struggling. She decided to be the voice of the voiceless through sharing her story.

“I wanted to get out of the ‘normal’  abuse, violence against women and girls, teen pregnancies and living paycheck to paycheck if there is any paycheck at all. All the inequalities we speak of as black women in this world — we face them here,” she says. “I  want to change the narrative.”

Sheila Wambui is another survivor. Her journey started in 2016 when she dropped out of school because of poverty.

Coming from a family of 10 siblings, Sheila chose to get married at 16. All she knew about her late husband was that he worked at a construction site during the day and as a waiter in the evening. Naive and ambitious, all she wanted was a better life.

A few months into the marriage, Sheila discovered her husband wasn’t who he claimed to be.  This happened after Sheila was found in possession of marijuana by police and was arrested. “I was arrested after a thorough search of our house. Someone had tipped off the police that we had bhang, and indeed, they found a hundred rolls.”

Worried about her future, Sheila informed her husband that she needed bail money, which was set at Sh100,000. “He came and paid Sh20,000 in cash, promising to bring the rest the next day.”

She was shocked when her construction worker husband returned the next day with the remaining Sh80,000 and settled the bill. “That’s when I became suspicious of him. When we got home, without me even asking, he bluntly confessed that, besides trafficking drugs, he was also a highway robber.”

Though his confession terrified Sheila, the secret was out, and she was forced to guard it with her life. To prove her loyalty, she had to stay with him or face the consequences. For better or worse, Sheila remained by his side until he was killed by a mob in late 2017.

Maureen Musambi is another innocent soul who fell into the wrong hands. Her first boyfriend whom she met after her education was halted was an armed robber, something she found out later in the relationship.

Fearing for her life, she played along until she got hooked on drugs and crime. 

She now works with an organization to create awareness of the dangers of engaging in crime. Security expert Gilbert Mwangi says women always fall victim to circumstances due to the economic status in slums adding that parents play a big role in pushing their children to crime.

“In the slums where gangs have been in ruling for decades, girls bear the brunt of rape and other violations,” says Mwangi. “Those who have grown up in this system have learned that to be safe, they need to attach themselves to criminals. With time, they become accomplices who hide things such as guns and bullets, then begin to run illegal errands before they become gangsters themselves.

He also explained that majority of women who live in slums find themselves deep in crime. Adding, “Crime is a multifaceted phenomenon caused by a myriad of factors.

And for anyone living within a crime-stricken area, there are very high chances of them engaging in criminal activities whether knowingly or unknowingly.”