Build your career to keep mediocre men at bay

What ageism does to women is that it lies to us that our best years are the early 20s and that we are more desirable at that age. The truth is that it has never been about desirability.

Young people have always been more desirable because they come with less demands and they do not have the negotiating power to really ask for more. They can settle for mediocre thinking it's the best they will ever get.

At this point in time, any man can afford to be a sponsor because the whole culture is based on the exploitation of impressionable university girls who just want to have fun.

They think that youth equals desirability but being young is perhaps the most overrated thing and yet women with no power have been led to believe that it gives them power and leverage over men when it doesn't.

There is no campus girl who receives a lot of money from their sponsor. If there is, it is probably one or two in a sample size of a hundred girls. Most of the men campus girls call sponsors are just ordinary men who can afford a bottle of black label, an airbnb for a night, and the occasional 5k in the middle of the month when you have ran broke.

In campus, most people get their sponsors from social media apps or from popular clubs. Girls go hunting and so do older men, and since Nairobi is a deranged place, it is alleged there are pimps who have their own clientele.

Girls are allegedly hired for road trips, house parties and personal relationships through middlemen who let them negotiate for payment themselves.

The problem with getting blessers from such avenues though is that you end up with married men or senior bachelors who are buying sex on a budget and that is no way to make it in life. It is just an illusion fed to women or one they have convinced themselves of due to socialites influence.

What I could tell any young girl between the ages of 18 to 25 is to wait. Unless you are doing it for survival, just wait. There's a glow up that happens when you get your own money that weeds out bare minimum men from your life automatically.

Being young and poor does not give you much leverage over people who have been in the field for years. Being young and poor means you don't exist in circles that allow you to meet and interact with actual rich people.

Your social interactions are limited to the people who are at the bottom of the pyramid and the things they give you are often inconsequential. Things that cannot change your life in any way.

If you have lived in this city long enough you will understand career women who are above 25 are the best paid girlfriends and side chicks. They are the ones who get houses, trips, cars and substantial monthly allowances.

Part of growing older is building your network, affording nice perfume, nice wigs and beautiful clothes. Part of growing older is being well read and having the kind of confidence that makes you a better lover both in bed and in conversation.

Part of growing older and successful in your career is meeting men who know dinner at a fancy hotel is not enough because you have been there countless times before. It is them knowing they don't have to fund your lifestyle. They instead have to keep up with it.

Growing older and having your own career gives you a level of power that allows you to have silent demands. Sponsors can never get you out of poverty. They only pay your bills in bits to keep you dependent on them.

Maybe I am privileged because twerking for a man the whole night has never made sense to me. That is money you can easily get from a good boyfriend if you are patient enough to form a sustainable relationship with someone slightly older than you.

Unless sponsors are giving you life changing money, you truly do not need to jump through the hoops of tolerating unattractive men for pocket change. It beats logic.

The only time men give you substantial amounts of money  is when they know you have personal money. Having personal money tells them you are used to money and by logic, would require more.

Do not spend your young years being exploited for pocket change. You will look back when you are older and loathe yourself for setting yourself up for a life of shared whiskey bottles and mediocrity.