Grief vs. Cost: The debate over Luo funerals in Kenya

Gen-Z will remind you to play in your house. Let everyone live their life how it suits them.

Funerals are those that fall on the inevitable side. We never lack an excuse and a reason why an item must stay in the budget.

The recent hue and cry at the burial of Chief of Defence Forces General Francis Ogolla points to the thinking of the society. The general had directed that his funeral should be simple. As simple as the burial of a soldier in the battle field.

It got me thinking about funerals and wondered if economic depression can succeed where the coronavirus pandemic failed.

When Covid-19 erupted and the government put a restriction on public gatherings, burials became a matter of public concern.

The big question was how would people grieve and mourn in a way that does not endanger those who come to console the bereaved.

Luos and Luhyas have detailed and elaborate burial rites that leave the body to lie in the morgue for up to two weeks. The body must then lie at home for at least one night before it is buried. Food and music are also part of the mourning.

During the pandemic, they were hit hard when orders came that the bury the dead the same day the body is brought home.

Many people were buried a few days after and no food was prepared in most of the burials that occurred over the Covid period.

I remember a call from my father back in the village that he could not believe that a man older than him had been buried without fire being lit in his home.

Apparently, they were only allowed to walk into the home one at a time and view the body then pick either a bottle of water or soda and walk out. The burial happened within three hours of arriving with only closest of family members in attendance.

This came after that rushed burial at night of an accident victim in Ugenya that drew angry reactions from Kenyans. Some families were pushing the back the limits of the government order. Bodies would arrive at night, food cooked in several homes and mourners directed to eat. It was families mentioned who adhered to the rules that surprised villagers. I reminded my dad that the virus was not going away anytime soon, we had to live with this reality.

This is a discussion I had with my dad several times before that one day, people will stop eating at funerals in western Kenya.

He was just letting me know how disappointed as he was, that my prophesy had happened in his lifetime.

He had agreed with me that it will happen but not in our (his and mine) lifetime. I reflected on how Covid had changed the world – it ended eating at Luo funerals.

Luo is a lifestyle, that’s what they tell us down there in Yurop as the Luo Nyanza is called and Kisumu in particular. I could not bet my next meal on it but still believed that something had shifted.

Fast forward, ad Covid is behind us, people have been vaccinated and the loss of those who died overshadowed by the economic downturn that followed the epidemic.  

I knew that Luos had seen that funerals can be brief, concise and affordable if not cheap. As soon as the world restored many things back to factory settings, Luo funerals also went back to the old mode. It was one of things that reminded me of just how culture is stubborn. It can form fast but will change very slowly, even over several generations.

However, grief is as personal as destiny. They say that grief will never stop at closure or burial, we just find ways of coping with our loss. The relatively long and elaborate burial rites give everyone some ample time to grieve and come to terms with the loss.

This is important so that people form their perspective for long term coping. It definitely has its advantages; my only concern has been the high costs associated with the grief.

My contradiction has always stopped at the crossroads where ample time is on one hand and comfortable budget on the other. Can we take one and leave the other?

Culture is a stubborn software. Lean economic times cannot succeed where Covid failed.